I have worked with numerous couples at all stagesof life, and have "learned by doing" in my own 32 year marriage,including raising three fantastic and challenging children to adulthood.
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The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate By Gary Chapman
AUDIOBOOK: Dr. Gary Chapman identifies five basic languages of love and then guides couples towards a better understanding of their unique languages of love. $19.59
The Art of Sex Coaching: Expanding Your Practice By Patti Britton
BOOK: "There is a great deal of good information in this volume… [a] pragmatic and unique book." ~ Stephanie Buehler, PHD
From Full House To All Alone By Coaching Circles Staff Writer
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Experts say the sudden vacuum
after the kids move out
can help revitalize your relationship.
The household silence that follows the departure of children can be often deafening for a couple accustomed to the cacophony of carpooling, sleepovers, and after school activities. Many are left wondering, "What now?"
Some couples celebrate their freedom by exploring the new facets in their post-children marriage. Others, particularly those whose relationships were hard hit by the pressures of parenthood, either take the time to mend the war wounds or decide to part ways.
It's all in a matter of how you face this new phase together.
"This doesn't have to be a traumatic [time]," say marriage therapists Cathy and Steve Brody. Their book, Renew Your Marriage at Midlife, gives practical advice on tackling the transition from parenthood back to couplehood.
"Indeed, for many relationships it can be a subtle process involving gradual career changes, more financial planning toward retirement, and exploring new ways of spending time together as a couple," they add.
The Brodys emphasize that communication is the ultimate factor that will keep an empty nest marriage thriving and intimate.
"Talk with your partner to clarify and redefine your new roles within the changing family landscape," the Brodys advise. "How successful you are will depend not only on your ability to communicate, but how similar you are in your desires to do so. Studies show that couples with partners who communicate to a similar degree are happier than couples where one spouse wants to share far more than the other."
In addition to keeping the communication channels open, you'll need to re-orient your focus from taking care of the kids to taking care of each other, suggest empty nesters David and Claudia Arp, marriage counselors and authors of The Second Half of Marriage: Facing the Eight Challenges of Every Long-Term Marriage.
Their research has unearthed eight solutions to the common conflicts that can plague a couple phasing out childcare, including how to maintain a vibrant and solid friendship.
"Long-term marriages have staying power because they are held together from within--from the inner core of the relationship," say the Arps. "The greatest indicator of a healthy long-term marriage is having a strong couple-friendship."
Multiracial by AAMFT There are approximately 7 million people in the United States who identify as mixed-race, with half of these being under the age of 18, and it is estimated that the mixed-race population in the U.S. will reach 21% by 2050.
Q&A With Joel Crohn Interfaith & Intercultural Expert Facilitated by Coaching Circles Comments (0)
Q. I'm a Christian man and my fiancée is a woman from a Reform Jewish background. What are the most common problems a Christian/Jewish marriage will face and should we immediately seek help?
A. Too often interfaith couples approach marriage minimizing their differences because it feels so good to be in love. Especially with the pressures of a wedding approaching, it sometimes seems best to sweep differences under the rug in the hope that "We can just make it through the wedding." This is often a big mistake. I think of the period between engagement and ceremony as the "escrow period" of love. It's stressful, but there is no better time to face your differences. Most importantly, clarify confusion and mixed feelings about your own religious background before you try to work things out with your partner. And yes, finding a counselor to help you work through these issues can be the best relationship insurance. .
Q. I am Jewish and my wife was raised as a Catholic. When we first discussed marriage, I told her that I didn't care if she converted, but that it was extremely important to me that we raise our children as Jewish. She agreed, but now we're having a crisis about the issue three weeks before our first child is due. We know it's a boy, and I took it for granted that we would have a bris (ritual circumcision). My wife said that she never thought raising children as Jewish included any kind of circumcision. Help!
A. The most difficult task for most of us is to imagine ourselves in the future. When we're 10, it was hard to really envision being 20. And even when we turn 50, 60 still seems like a long time away. So when the two of you agreed to raise your children as Jewish, maybe you didn't spend enough time talking about what the idea of having Jewish children really entailed. Many couples are anxious about being specific because they are frightened that if they are, insurmountable differences might arise. Don't despair or panic. The most important thing now is to begin to talk more deeply about your concerns. If either of you feels coerced into a quick solution by the other, you all may suffer for a long time. While the traditional bris takes place when a boy is eight days old, you may need more time to work things out. Our new book, "Fighting for Your Jewish Marriage" gives lots of suggestions about how to discuss these kinds of difficult issues. Also, some counseling might be in order. Your child's emotional and spiritual well being demands that the two of you work out your differences. But please, just remember half a circumcision is not a viable option.
Q. My boyfriend is African American and grew up in an upper-middle class family. He just finished law school at Princeton, and his financial prospects are, to put it mildly, fantastic. If I may be direct, I'm a tall, good-looking blond young woman from a humble background. I was raised by a single working mom and we were always short on time and money. I'm having trouble with how other people stereotype us. Either they assume that I'm more educated than my boyfriend because I'm white and he's black, or, if they know about his accomplishments, they assume I'm with him because of his success. We love each other very much, but we're having a hard time dealing with other people. What should we do?
A. Whether we like it or not, we are all social animals. It's never easy to ignore others' perceptions of us, even when they are totally wrong. Make sure you learn to share your feelings and thoughts about unpleasant incidents with each other. It's usually more important that you are there to support one another than it is to protect each other from negative feelings. Also, work on building a network of friends and family who know you as a couple and appreciate who you really are. Isolation is a big risk factor for all couples. Seek out an interracial organization in your city and consider joining. The Association of MultiEthnic Americans, Inc. is a great resource. Finally, remember the old real estate adage--location, location, location. Certain cities and neighborhoods are more receptive and friendly to interracial couples, and choosing well can make life a lot more pleasant.
“Developmental Disabilities” by the American Psychiatric Association
There has been a shift in caring for individuals with disabilities to more integration into communities. free
“ Basic Steps to Achieving Healthy Communication” by Dr. Harville Hendrix on Oprah
According to marriage therapist Dr. Harville Hendrix, there are three basic steps to achieving healthy communication... free
Blessed are the man and the woman
who have grown beyond themselves
and have seen through their separations.
They delight in the way things are
and keep their hearts open, day and night.
They are like trees planted near flowing rivers,
which bear fruit when they are ready.
Their leaves will not fall or wither.
Everything they do will succeed. free
“Male Sexual Issues” by AAMFT
Couples today expect more out of sex and intimacy than in any point in history. free
From Full House To All Alone By Coaching Circles Staff Writer
Multiracial by AAMFT 
Q&A With Joel Crohn 
