Learning to Love: From Conflict to Lasting Harmony By Don Rosenthal, Martha Rosenthal
BOOK: The book helps couples move through conflict and difficulty toward the love and trust essential to satisfying relationships.
A Directory of Advocacy and Support Groups for Youth with Emotional, Developmental and Behavioral Disorders by the American Psychiatric Association
SOCIAL SERVICE: Organizations which provide advocacy and support services for this population who wish to be included in this list may contact the Office of Children's Affairs at the American Psychiatric Association (APA)
Martha Stewart Weddings Yikes, yes Martha
MAGAZINE: Some good tips, without being too 'Cinderella' ~ Janice, CEO Coaching Circles
See What Coaches Suggest
Here is our set of products and services we believe will assist you in your relationship development. Books, magazines, reports, tools, PowerPoints and much more.
The Top Ten Myths of Divorce By David Popenoe
Discussion of the most common misinformation about divorce.
1 Because people learn from their bad experiences, second marriages tend to be more successful than first marriages.
Although many people who divorce have successful subsequent marriages, the divorce rate of remarriages is in fact higher than that of first marriages.
2 Living together before marriage is a good way to reduce the chances of eventually divorcing.
Many studies have found that those who live together before marriage have a considerably higher chance of eventually divorcing. The reasons for this are not well understood. In part, the type of people who are willing to cohabit may also be those who are more willing to divorce. There is some evidence that the act of cohabitation itself generates attitudes in people that are more conducive to divorce, for example the attitude that relationships are temporary and easily can be ended.
3 Divorce may cause problems for many of the children who are affected by it, but by and large these problems are not long lasting and the children recover relatively quickly.
Divorce increases the risk of interpersonal problems in children. There is evidence, both from small qualitative studies and from large-scale, long-term empirical studies that many of these problems are long lasting. In fact, they may even become worse in adulthood.
4 Having a child together will help a couple to improve their marital satisfaction and prevent a divorce.
Many studies have shown that the most stressful time in a marriage is after the first child is born. Couples who have a child together have a slightly decreased risk of divorce compared to couples without children, but the decreased risk is far less than it used to be when parents with marital problems were more likely to stay together “for the sake of the children.”
5 Following divorce, the woman’s standard of living plummets by seventy three percent while that of the man’s improves by forty two percent.
This dramatic inequity, one of the most widely publicized statistics from the social sciences, was later found to be based on a faulty calculation. A reanalysis of the data determined that the woman’s loss was twenty seven percent while the man’s gain was ten percent. Irrespective of the magnitude of the differences, the gender gap is real and seems not to have narrowed much in recent decades.
Q&A With Bill & Stephanie O’Hanlon Facilitated by Coaching Circles Comments (0)
Q. My husband and I have been married just a couple of months. Recently I've noticed him flirting with other women at parties and giving one woman a kiss that was beyond friendly. I've always trusted him, having known him for three years before we got married, but is this trust misplaced?
A. From what you wrote, it sounds like up to this point his trust worthiness hasn't been an issue. First, be clear about what you consider violations of faithfulness and trust in the relationship. Is kissing a woman on the cheek okay? Is kissing her on the mouth not okay? Is having dinner alone with a woman okay? Is flirting okay? Sometimes couples have assumptions rather than clear agreements about what the boundaries are.
Some people become a little wiggy after getting married. They start acting more like a parent than a spouse and expect their partner to act a specific way. Or they just find that certain issues are activated (like commitment or monogamy). We knew a couple with whom this happened and it started to cause big problems in their relationship. They had to acknowledge the problem and then go back to what had worked for them when they were living together before they got married.
The bottom line is: talk to your husband about what he is doing that bothers you and figure out what is going on without making accusations or jumping to any conclusions, and then go from there.
Q. My boyfriend has an old girlfriend who e-mails him every day. He's a loyal person and I am deeply in love with him. I feel petty, but I can't help feeling jealous. Any thoughts?
A. Several years ago we became friends with a couple in which the male partner, a very loyal and caring guy, was still friends with all his old girlfriends. Our friends' relationship seemed to work out all right. Some people can maintain friendships with former partners and stay within the boundaries. Or perhaps your boyfriend, like Bill, has what we call the "nice guy syndrome" in that he has difficulty saying no to other people. Nice guys end up spending lots of time and energy taking care of other people's needs and making sure no one gets upset with them. We think it's all in the balance. How much do the ex-girlfriend's e-mails cut into your time together? Do you feel your boyfriend is just being loyal to her or do you feel either one is over-invested in the relationship? Be up front with your boyfriend, but bring it up as a concern, not an accusation. Tell him that you feel petty, but that his contact with her is bothering you.
Marital Education Programs Help Keep Couples Together by American Psychological Association Research begun in the 1970's by psychologists Howard Markman, PhD, John Gottman, PhD, and others found that the quality of interaction between husbands and wives was highly predictive of marital distress or divorce. The studies indicated that couples who interacted more negatively than other couples had marriages that that were in trouble or predicted future marital distress.
“Get Involved!” International Lesbian and Gay Association
ILGA has been fighting for equal rights for the LGBT community worldwide along with its member organisations for the last 26 years. The ILGA is a world-wide network of national and local groups dedicated to achieving equal rights for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered (LGBT) people everywhere.
membership 40 Euros
“Questions to Ask Before You Get Married” by Dr. Robin Smith on Oprah
Before you walk down the aisle, ask the questions that really matter. Dr. Robin Smith shares 25 questions from her book, Lies at the Altar.
free
The Top Ten Myths of Divorce By David Popenoe
Q&A With Bill & Stephanie O’Hanlon Facilitated by Coaching Circles 
Marital Education Programs Help Keep Couples Together by American Psychological Association 
