I have been working with people in transition since1987 when I co-facilitated workshops for people in divorce.
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The Top Ten Myths of Divorce By David Popenoe
Discussion of the most common misinformation about divorce.
1 Because people learn from their bad experiences, second marriages tend to be more successful than first marriages.
Although many people who divorce have successful subsequent marriages, the divorce rate of remarriages is in fact higher than that of first marriages.
2 Living together before marriage is a good way to reduce the chances of eventually divorcing.
Many studies have found that those who live together before marriage have a considerably higher chance of eventually divorcing. The reasons for this are not well understood. In part, the type of people who are willing to cohabit may also be those who are more willing to divorce. There is some evidence that the act of cohabitation itself generates attitudes in people that are more conducive to divorce, for example the attitude that relationships are temporary and easily can be ended.
3 Divorce may cause problems for many of the children who are affected by it, but by and large these problems are not long lasting and the children recover relatively quickly.
Divorce increases the risk of interpersonal problems in children. There is evidence, both from small qualitative studies and from large-scale, long-term empirical studies that many of these problems are long lasting. In fact, they may even become worse in adulthood.
4 Having a child together will help a couple to improve their marital satisfaction and prevent a divorce.
Many studies have shown that the most stressful time in a marriage is after the first child is born. Couples who have a child together have a slightly decreased risk of divorce compared to couples without children, but the decreased risk is far less than it used to be when parents with marital problems were more likely to stay together “for the sake of the children.”
5 Following divorce, the woman’s standard of living plummets by seventy three percent while that of the man’s improves by forty two percent.
This dramatic inequity, one of the most widely publicized statistics from the social sciences, was later found to be based on a faulty calculation. A reanalysis of the data determined that the woman’s loss was twenty seven percent while the man’s gain was ten percent. Irrespective of the magnitude of the differences, the gender gap is real and seems not to have narrowed much in recent decades.
Q&A With Tian Dayton Facilitated by Coaching Circles Comments (0)
Q. I come from a divorced family. My parents split up when I was 13. Should I assume that I'm damaged goods?
A. Why would you take on a negative self-identity like that? Life is constantly renewing itself and so can you. Remember-what happened to you is not your fault, but it is your RESPONSIBILITY to get the help you need to work through past experiences that may be damaging your life today. If everyone whose parents divorced gave up on themself, we would have no presidents, senators, writers, actors, therapists, to name a few. This is your challenge and your responsibility in life to break the chain of generational dysfunction and find a better way of living.
Does Divorce Make People Happy? Findings from a Study of Unhappy Marriages By Linda J. Waite, Don Browning, William J. Dohert Call it the "divorce assumption." Most people assume that a person stuck in a bad marriage has two choices: stay married and miserable or get a divorce and become happier. But now come the findings from the first scholarly study ever to test that assumption, and these findings challenge conventional wisdom.
“Children and Divorce” by Constance Ahrons via AAMFT
In her research on divorcing parents, family therapist Constance Ahrons identified different types of post-divorce parenting relationships. free
Blessed are the man and the woman
who have grown beyond themselves
and have seen through their separations.
They delight in the way things are
and keep their hearts open, day and night.
They are like trees planted near flowing rivers,
which bear fruit when they are ready.
Their leaves will not fall or wither.
Everything they do will succeed. free
A Directory of Advocacy and Support Groups for Youth with Emotional, Developmental and Behavioral Disorders
SOCIAL SERVICE: Organizations which provide advocacy and support services for this population who wish to be included in this list may contact the Office of Children's Affairs at the American Psychiatric Association (APA)
The Wall Street Journal
MAGAZINE: You know it and no matter where you are in the world, if you are looking to succeed as a leader, you need it.
How to Know God DVD
DVDAn exciting, insightful journey towards a better understanding of one of life's greatest mysteries.
The Top Ten Myths of Divorce By David Popenoe
Q&A With Tian Dayton Facilitated by Coaching Circles 
Does Divorce Make People Happy?
