Cheryl Lynch Simpson, LPC Executive Career & Life Balance Coach
With over 20 years' experience in every facet of corporate and not-for-profit career development, I help dedicated professionals get ahead.
LIVE OPEN CALL: Friday, Mar. 5th
Call in to ask any question you may have in personal or professional development. It is easy, call 1.712.432.3900 at 9a PST | 12 noon EST | 5p London, March 5th, 2010 Email us for your access code: Coaches @ CoachingCircles.com (no spaces) via phone
Al-Anon adapted from Alcoholics Anonymous
On average, each alcoholic affects the lives of at least four other people.
Addiction to Blame By Dr. Margaret Paul
Blaming others is often the result of self-blame. Are you addicted to judging yourself? In this article, find out how to shift from self-abuse to self-love.
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Allen consulted with me because his wife of 18 years had threatened to leave him if he didn't stop blaming her all the time. He admitted to frequently blaming her in a variety of situations. He blamed her if he thought she made a mistake, if he thought she was wrong about something, if he was feeling alone, or even if he had a bad day at work. He blamed her for asking him questions when he didn't know the answer. He would sometimes even blame her if his golf game was off. He always blamed her when he felt judged by her, or when he didn't get her approval. While he freely admitted that he blamed her, he couldn't seem to stop, and he had no idea why he blamed her.
As I explored various situations with Allen, it became apparent that he was not just blaming his wife. Allen was constantly blaming and judging himself. He would verbally beat himself up for mistakes, telling himself things like, "I'm such a jerk," and would often say very negative things to himself, such as, "Things will never get any better," or "I'm just a loser," or "I'm a big disappointment to myself." He would then feel angry and agitated as a result of abusing himself, but he never connected his anger with his self-judgment. Instead, he would dump his anger on his wife, or yell at other drivers on the freeway.
It became apparent to Allen that he would not be able to stop blaming his wife until he stopped blaming and judging himself. His addiction to blaming others was a direct result of his self-abuse.
The problem was that Allen had learned to be very self-indulgent regarding his thoughts. He let his thoughts run rampant, never stopping to discern whether or not what he was telling himself was the truth or was a lie. As a result, he was constantly allowing the wounded part of himself, his ego self, to be in charge. And this part of him was filled with all the lies he had learned in the 46 years of his life.
“What are the Warning Signs of Mental Illness?” by the American Psychiatric Association
Read a listing of the signs in an adult and in a child. And, know the symptoms or reactions that are so serious a pediatrician or a psychiatrist should be consulted immediately.
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Delivered from Distraction: Getting the Most out of Life with ADD
BOOK: "This is a *must read* for those with ADD - especially ADULTS! I found it tremendously helpful!" ~ Mimi Testen
G. I. Diet: The Easy, Healthy Way to Permanent Weight Loss
BOOK: This is an easy-to-follow, easy-to-stick-to, truly healthy approach to eating that is based on the Glycemic Index.
100 Days of Weight Loss: The Secret to Being Successful on ANY Diet Plan
BOOK: If you have ever struggled with excess weight and couldn't motivate yourself to stick with a diet for the long haul you should read this book.
Addiction to Blame By Dr. Margaret Paul
