Cheryl Lynch Simpson, LPC
Executive Career & Life Balance Coach
With over 20 years' experience in every facet of corporate and not-for-profit career development, I help dedicated professionals get ahead.
ADA GIMLAN
Ada is a Weight Loss and Recovery Coach. She helps people to find their inner core strengths and beliefs.
SANDRA OWENS
My training and life work has centered around improving the human condition in all aspects of personal and relational growth.
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Addiction to Blame By Dr. Margaret Paul
Blaming others is often the result of self-blame. Are you addicted to judging yourself? In this article, find out how to shift from self-abuse to self-love.
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Allen consulted with me because his wife of 18 years had threatened to leave him if he didn't stop blaming her all the time. He admitted to frequently blaming her in a variety of situations. He blamed her if he thought she made a mistake, if he thought she was wrong about something, if he was feeling alone, or even if he had a bad day at work. He blamed her for asking him questions when he didn't know the answer. He would sometimes even blame her if his golf game was off. He always blamed her when he felt judged by her, or when he didn't get her approval. While he freely admitted that he blamed her, he couldn't seem to stop, and he had no idea why he blamed her.
As I explored various situations with Allen, it became apparent that he was not just blaming his wife. Allen was constantly blaming and judging himself. He would verbally beat himself up for mistakes, telling himself things like, "I'm such a jerk," and would often say very negative things to himself, such as, "Things will never get any better," or "I'm just a loser," or "I'm a big disappointment to myself." He would then feel angry and agitated as a result of abusing himself, but he never connected his anger with his self-judgment. Instead, he would dump his anger on his wife, or yell at other drivers on the freeway.
It became apparent to Allen that he would not be able to stop blaming his wife until he stopped blaming and judging himself. His addiction to blaming others was a direct result of his self-abuse.
The problem was that Allen had learned to be very self-indulgent regarding his thoughts. He let his thoughts run rampant, never stopping to discern whether or not what he was telling himself was the truth or was a lie. As a result, he was constantly allowing the wounded part of himself, his ego self, to be in charge. And this part of him was filled with all the lies he had learned in the 46 years of his life.
How We Get Addicted by Michael D. Lemonick - via Time Magazine Investigators have begun to figure out exactly what goes wrong in the brain of an addict - which neurotransmitting chemicals are out of balance and what regions of the brain are affected. They are developing a more detailed understanding of how deeply and completely addiction can affect the brain, by hijacking memory-making processes and by exploiting emotions. Using that knowledge, they've begun to design new drugs that are showing promise in cutting off the craving that drives an addict irresistibly toward relapse - the greatest risk facing even the most dedicated abstainer.
Addiction and the Brain via Time Magazine As scientists learn more about the pathology of addiction, new addictions are discovered and defined on a regular basis. Here's a survey of addictions you may not be aware exist, and a look at ways addiction affects the brain.
“What are the Warning Signs of Mental Illness?” by the American Psychiatric Association
Read a listing of the signs in an adult and in a child. And, know the symptoms or reactions that are so serious a pediatrician or a psychiatrist should be consulted immediately.
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Think Smart: A Neuroscientist's Prescription for Improving Your Brain's Performance
BOOK: New discoveries prove that certain exercises, the honing of sensory memory, sleep, even certain foods, can help the human brain operate more effectively; restak offers advice on how anyone can achieve optimal brain function.
Brain Storm: The Flaws in the Science of Sex Differences
BOOK: Men, women, and how their brains differ.
The Volumetrics Eating Plan: Techniques and Recipes for Feeling Full on Fewer Calories
BOOK: *The New York Times BESTSELLER*
Quit "dieting" for good. Feel full on fewer calories. Lose weight and keep it off while eating satisfying portions of delicious, nutritious foods.
Addiction to Blame By Dr. Margaret Paul
How We Get Addicted 
Addiction and the Brain 
